Before we discuss the effects of divorce on children it may help to look at a few statistics. 50% of all marriages within the United States end in divorce and sixty-seven percent of all second marriages end in divorce. These may appear like alarming statistics but in fact, the divorce rate is really dropping. Opinions vary as to the reason why however most think that it's either due to the expenses connected to divorce - the divorce itself and then the fact that 2 households must now be supported instead of 1, and the fact that it's not considered a crime to be single. More folks are waiting till their 30s to marry which puts them past the age where divorce is most prevalent.
But, it is also a reality that 50 percent of kids in America are children of divorced parents. Years ago, when divorce was still not talked about, these youngsters were pitied and it was assumed that their futures would be ruined because of the ill effects of divorce on children. However is that actually what's happened? Now that divorce has come out into the open, are we really finding that it has a negative effect on our children?
Within the last few years research has been conducted that shows that these reports of negative effects have been greatly exaggerated. In the past it had been stated that children of divorce suffered problems with depression and that they had behavioral issues in school and that their social skills suffered. And it had been believed that these issues all stemmed from the divorce itself and that they'd be carried on into the child's adult life causing them to have difficult marriages as well.
However those same studies also indicate that, because of the conflict that was going on between the parents before the divorce, the children were already having problems before the divorce even occurred. But because divorce simply wasn't talked about it was assumed that it had been the root of all of the problems.
These studies have shown though that the effects of divorce on children can be measured primarily based on 3 things - the quality of the relationship with both of the parents before the divorce, the duration and intensity of the conflict between the parents, and the ability of the parents to focus on the child's needs throughout and after the divorce.
It was also noted in these studies that the most important contributing factor when a child does experience problems connected to divorce was the withdrawal of the father. And it was found that father who left the house and withdrew from their relationship with their child usually did so because of conflicts with the mother. Therefore you can see that in order to reduce the ill effects of divorce on children it's imperative that each parent keep the best interests of the child in mind at all times.
But, it is also a reality that 50 percent of kids in America are children of divorced parents. Years ago, when divorce was still not talked about, these youngsters were pitied and it was assumed that their futures would be ruined because of the ill effects of divorce on children. However is that actually what's happened? Now that divorce has come out into the open, are we really finding that it has a negative effect on our children?
Within the last few years research has been conducted that shows that these reports of negative effects have been greatly exaggerated. In the past it had been stated that children of divorce suffered problems with depression and that they had behavioral issues in school and that their social skills suffered. And it had been believed that these issues all stemmed from the divorce itself and that they'd be carried on into the child's adult life causing them to have difficult marriages as well.
However those same studies also indicate that, because of the conflict that was going on between the parents before the divorce, the children were already having problems before the divorce even occurred. But because divorce simply wasn't talked about it was assumed that it had been the root of all of the problems.
These studies have shown though that the effects of divorce on children can be measured primarily based on 3 things - the quality of the relationship with both of the parents before the divorce, the duration and intensity of the conflict between the parents, and the ability of the parents to focus on the child's needs throughout and after the divorce.
It was also noted in these studies that the most important contributing factor when a child does experience problems connected to divorce was the withdrawal of the father. And it was found that father who left the house and withdrew from their relationship with their child usually did so because of conflicts with the mother. Therefore you can see that in order to reduce the ill effects of divorce on children it's imperative that each parent keep the best interests of the child in mind at all times.
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